Dr. Sandra Pertot,
1. Stop feeling guilty: You haven’t chosen to have low libido.
2. Expand your ideas about what sex drive is: It isn’t always a physical desire for sex.
3. Find your reasons to say "yes" rather than "no": What’s in it for you to have sex – closeness, reassurance, sexual release?
4. Explore all the cues to that help you say yes: Your emotional, sensual, cognitive and environmental triggers.
5. Recognize what turns you off: Not every woman enjoys breast stimulation or prolonged intercourse, nor does every man like to have his penis manually stimulated.
6. Change your ideas about what good sex is: Sometimes quiet, brief sex is satisfying.
7. Challenge unrealistic expectations: Not initiating sex is not a sign that you don’t love your partner or find him/her attractive.
8. Talk calmly and confidently with your partner about your differences in wants and needs: Work together as equals to develop a "good enough" sex life.