Sandra Pertot

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Living With Low Libido

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Dr. Sandra Pertot,

Clinical Psychologist



1. Stop feeling guilty: You haven’t chosen to have low libido.

2. Expand your ideas about what sex drive is: It isn’t always a physical desire for sex.

3. Find your reasons to say "yes" rather than "no": What’s in it for you to have sex – closeness, reassurance, sexual release?

4. Explore all the cues to that help you say yes: Your emotional, sensual, cognitive and environmental triggers.

5. Recognize what turns you off: Not every woman enjoys breast stimulation or prolonged intercourse, nor does every man like to have his penis manually stimulated.

6. Change your ideas about what good sex is: Sometimes quiet, brief sex is satisfying.

7. Challenge unrealistic expectations: Not initiating sex is not a sign that you don’t love your partner or find him/her attractive.

8. Talk calmly and confidently with your partner about your differences in wants and needs: Work together as equals to develop a "good enough" sex life.